T25 - Day 36

Did you read that right? Why, yes you did.

Yes I am having a pity party. Why? I have absolutely no idea. I lost 3.5lbs in 6 days, I bet if I measured myself tomorrow it would show more inches lost yet when I look at myself I still see a huge chest, a huge stomach, a double chin, big thighs...yadda yadda yadda.

I could type all my imperfections out and you would be reading forever I am sure. How can it be that I am losing weight but I can't see it? I still feel huge. I am working SO hard to lose weight and yet... I feel like I am no further ahead.

I don't get it. Can someone please explain to me the secret of being happy, and staying positive during weight loss? I certainly do not have those answers.
I should be on cloud 9 right now.

Logic and ration tells me that it is impossible for me to be the same size after how much I have lost. I know that this will be a long journey and that after only 5 1/2 weeks I can't expect to look like I am 140lbs by any means. So why am I upset?

I did my Dynamic Core workout today and a lot of them were crunches. I find it incredibly hard to do crunches due to the fact that... well I have a large stomach in the way. I began to feel frustrated with the video, on several parts it didn't even show the modified moves and my core is not strong enough to do the advanced (not to mention my hip flexors aren't either!). I started to think that maybe the T25 isn't for "fat" people like me and maybe I won't be able to do the Beta or Gamma parts. I think I also partly let a so called "friend" in my head on the weekend.

He started to attack me about my chest size stating that each breast must weigh 50lbs (clearly not!) and stating that I get super fat in pregnancies (which really I don't! I gained a max of 30lbs with my 2nd and with the other two it was in and around the 20-25lb mark). I defended myself and stated this and he went further arguing that I gained 80lbs or something. I know it is just one person but you know what they say, it is a lot easier to accept the negative then it is the positive and lets face it. I've heard all this before. I've heard how fat I am, how obese I am... truthfully I have heard that more then I have heard the opposite: your beautiful, your not fat... so which do you think would be easier to believe?

It was highly rude, and inappropriate and quite shocking that someone that is supposed to be a friend would say such hurtful things like that.

I am not the type of person that can just let it roll off me like water off a ducks back. Comments like that, they stick to me like glue. I find it easier to accept the insults then the compliments, frustrating as it is. So this comment was made on Saturday and it has stayed in my head, and apparently it dug in deeper then I thought. All those words came flooding back to me during my workout today; well those words and of course the thousands of others I have heard or even said to myself. So yes it ended up being an emotional workout. I didn't even complete the cool down which I always do.
Sigh.

So again I say why do I let words get to me when as I have stated before, "proof is in the pudding". I lost 3.5lbs in 6 days! I should be rejoicing. So why can't I let go of those hurtful words. Why can't I just look at myself and see that change is happening?

I am sure I will, right now I am just having a "pity party" moment.
I know I will get over it but this is what I am feeling so this is what my blog is about today. I know this feeling won't last, but this is part of my journey and I needed to get it off my chest.

Anyway I am going to focus on making my day more positive.
Thanks for reading about my "woe is me" pity party moment!

T25 - Day 35

I need to play a bit of catch up before I fill you all in on my amazing achievement today!

Tuesday (yesterday)

I had a perfect day for nutrition, a medium good day for water and I actually enjoyed my workout! It was crazily enough, fun! It was upbeat and the variety was awesome. It worked in a level system, so it had "round 1", "level 1" and you did like 5 different exercises or so per round, and there was 3 different levels each round. So you repeated all the different exercises each level it just got faster and faster. Then at the end you did everything all over again but not for as long. I liked this one a lot. It was called speed 2.0 which is funny because I really disliked speed 1.0.

The only thing that I will say is that I stupidly did the T25 in the morning BEFORE breakfast. Dumb move. I almost puked, and I know a lot of times people say "I almost puked" and they exaggerate... this time I am being quite literal. I was gagging and swallowing back the urge and my stomach felt so ill, almost like stomach flu ill. Not good. Lesson learned, you can't do a workout like the T25 on an empty stomach. Won't do that again!

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful for blogging about...

Today

I had the mother of all difficult workouts today... so far... Rip'd Circuit. It was the first time ever using weights (or resistant bands were allowed too) and each exercise move you had to hold for at least 1 minute solid. The ab moves were intense and really worked your core. Even the simple cardio moves I've done in Alpha and even the last 2 days of Beta were difficult because instead of having to tough it out for 30sec I had to push it for even longer! There was a lot of moves that used dumb bells too so the added weights, with arm moves was pretty intense. I was hurting.

I have been doing my exercise in the morning after breakfast to get it over and done with (well except for yesterday, as I said I won't do that again!)

Speaking of food... again my food has been good today. Poached eggs and toast for breakfast with a tiny section of banana, apple for snack, chicken souvlaki ceasar salad for lunch, rice cakes and mixed nuts and a thinsation chocolate bar thing for snack then for supper I just had a chocolate/PB protein shake (half of it) then Joelene and I went out...

Okay so I am SO pumped about my exercise night! I did the 20 lengths in just over 15min again, and this time I did take breaks and I was practicing my flip turns under water and chit chatting a bit with Joelene so I guess if I had pushed myself extremely like I have been I may have been in the 14min range but I don't care. It was a great workout, plus I was so sore from the workout I had already completed today. My shoulders ached and my quads. I am pretty proud of my time.
After we did our lanes we sat in the hot tub for a bit then we decided to spontaneously go try to do 10KM on the bike in the upstairs gym!

So we got dried off and headed upstairs.

I am so happy to report that I pushed super hard, and after 28min I did 10km on the exercise bike and I felt like falling to the ground and not moving but... I DID IT! I ACTUALLY DID IT!

OH EM GEE! I am so pumped, shocked, happy, surprised, impressed, amazed, blown away, stunned... *insert similar words here* ME? .... ME!? I did it! I never in a million years would have thought that I could do something like that and yet... I did!
However, I have to admit I had NO IDEA how hard 10KM would be. Really puts this triathlon into perspective for me; but I only have to add on 5KM run now and that is the triathlon. I was able to do my swim and biking in 45min. Not bad if you ask me.

So all in all I think today has been a good day. I feel so tired, but yet I have that euphoric high after the workout... my legs are like jelly, I am clearly physically worn out but I feel so pumped still. I could definitely sleep, and I hope that I will sleep well tonight since that was probably something that contributed to my terrible time with the rip'd circuit today. My baby and toddler woke me up SO MUCH last night that I felt like a walking zombie today. A restful night sleep and good nutrition is key when having energy to do all this intense exercising. However, that being said, I still was able to do all I did today on limited sleep -- but mostly due to the proper food to fuel me! I was also able to get almost 4L of water in today too.

Well this has been quite an exciting update but I must go now, shower and enjoy an hour or so with my amazing, supportive husband then I am going to enjoy falling into bed!

Night!

T25 - Day 33

Oh my gosh. What a mixed emotion day for my exercise!

I started the Beta on the T25 today and I was out of breath and struggled A LOT through it. I was getting a little emotional too and was not able to hold a lot of moves and I needed to take a few second breathers here and there. I think all the exercise on Sunday caught up to me.

I focussed really hard today on my nutrition and I did awesome!

For breakfast I made healthy French toast - and only had 2 pieces, and I topped them with caramelized banana's which according to the recipe is also "healthy" and that satisfied me for a long time. I didn't have an appetite for a snack in the morning, probably because the breakfast was heavier. For lunch I had my greek souvlaki chicken salad again, it was amazing. I didn't have any avocado left so it was just everything else (red pepper/green pepper/cucumber/feta cheese/chicken) but I also added in diced red onion and I loved it. I was quite full.

Then at around 4PM I had a protein bar and 1/2 a banana. I didn't have much an appetite for supper but my hubs forced me to eat what I had made and I am glad, it was very tasty. I made that cabbage chicken  stir fry again, nothing else and I had a big bowl of that.

If you want the recipe for that again it is here: Chicken Cabbage Stir Fry Recipe
(you just need to scroll down in that post about half way)

Then after supper I decided that I would go lane swimming. It was a trying day with the kids and I just needed to GET OUT! All I can say is I can't believe the amazing feeling that is running through me right now. I am just so rejuvenated!

I did 20 lengths in just over 15mins again (not exactly sure the seconds after didn't count that) but this time I focussed on using less legs, and I wasn't as exhausted. I still didn't rest but that didn't bother me. I didn't struggle very much tonight and the only thing I can think of that was different was yesterday I had 2 burritos for lunch before I went, not exactly great fuel for exercising; plus I had a very exhausting night, then up at 5AM for the gold metal game.
So... bad food + not very rested adds up to the reason yesterday was so difficult. I mean don't let me fool you, it wasn't EASY by ANY means... I just didn't find I struggled as much as I did yesterday. It was still challenging and I still needed to focus and push through but my arms weren't as dead, I wasn't as out of breath... that kind of stuff. Also I noticed after I was done I didn't have that nauseous or dizzy feeling like I did yesterday either. I felt tired like I normally do after a workout but after I took a few minutes to catch my breath I started to come back down to ground.

I feel great right now, I soaked in the tub for a good 5+ minutes after and I just felt/feel at peace. Like all the stresses of my day have just left me and I am left with this euphoric feeling. :-)

I am hoping this is a good sign for tomorrow's T25 exercise. This Beta circuit is a lot more challenging then I thought, I figured after doing 5 weeks of the Alpha that I would struggle a bit with the next level up but not like this. It feels exactly how I felt when I first started the Alpha. I guess I can only expect to get better and stronger!

Lately I have been struggling a lot with recipe ideas. I use pinterest and google a lot but nothing really hits home with what I am wanting. I am sort of in a food lull. If you have any recipes that you have tried feel free to post a comment with some ideas! I may just have to look through my blog again too and repeat old recipes, like I did tonight with the chicken cabbage stir fry. Which by the way, don't let the name deter you from trying it - it's actually quite delicious!

Ok well that is all I have to say for now!

T25 - Day 32

Well if you can believe it I STILL need to finish my Total Body Circuit from Friday's double workout day. It just got so crazy busy that I didn't have a chance on Friday before my girls night. I didn't end up eating as healthy that night as I would have liked either but I brushed it off and made Saturday a good start...

I say it was a good start because despite how hard I tried to eat healthy and carve some time to workout it just didn't pan out. I got flooded with friends at all different hours, which is incredibly unusual. I woke up and had my oatmeal and then later had a banana. My friend arrived at 11:30am and stayed until 2pm. During our visit I had lunch which was 2 poached eggs, some cucumber and apple which basically bled into an afternoon snack since I just wasn't overly hungry after the eggs.

My first friend left at 2pm and moments later my second friend arrived and we had a nice visit until 3:30pm. My husband had just got back from working out of town all day, and about 5 minutes later we got our third wave of company -- which was friends we hadn't seen in a year! They ended up staying from 3:30pm-8:40pm and my planned supper which would have been that chicken cabbage stir fry ended up being home made pizzas, this was double disappointing because having them stay for dinner resulted in me ending up missing out on lane swimming with Joelene and well... pizza for supper after already having a pretty heavily "cheat" week and the night before cheating was not ideal. I wanted have something healthy. However life happens and today I have tried once again to make a better effort.

I got up at 5am to watch the hockey game so I had 2 over easy eggs with salsa and 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter and honey. I ended up going back to bed after the game for a couple hours and when I got up and showered and dressed I had a banana for my morning snack. We desperately needed groceries so I had to deal with what we had in the house for lunch after church as our toddler was napping (fell asleep in the van on the way home from church) and I was absolutely famished! So I had 2 mild beef burritos. Again, so not what I should have been eating, not ideal and not something I would ordinarily have.

After that I went lane swimming by myself. Joelene had totally blew our time out of the water last time, we did 20 lengths in 18.5 minutes. She informed me she did 20 in just over 15 minutes. So I thought I'd try. Could have been the not so healthy lunch, the lack of sleep or just pure exhaustion from the T25 but I found this one to be brutally hard. I did end up doing my 20 lengths in 15 minutes 10 seconds! However, she was able to rest for 15 secs which I so would have loved to do... I on the other hand didn't stop once! 20 lengths, no rest... one word: WOW! I was dizzy and felt a little sick afterwards. I got out of the lane pool (perhaps a bit too fast?) and I struggled to find my legs again, everything felt like jelly as I walked towards the hot tub. I felt a bit better after resting in the hot tub for 5 minutes but I didn't want to just sit there by myself so I got out earlier then I normally would have and those dizzy/sick feelings came back. I struggled to steady my feet while I dressed.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard but I really wanted to see if I could do it, and as it turns out I could! I struggled and it was damn hard but I did it. I doubt I will get any faster then this for awhile I have some weight to lose and some strength to build. I am pretty impressed with myself though because my friend is much thinner then I am and so far I am able to keep up with her even with all this weight to tow behind me! However if she gets much faster she will continue to blow me out of the water and be in a different heat on the triathlon. I really want to keep up with her because I want to do the triathlon together, but I can only do what I can do.

So after that exhausting lane swim workout I still need to push through my total body as mentioned above and also do a stretch video tonight. I'm sort of kicking myself for leaving everything till today.

We start our BETA cycle tomorrow so I have no wiggle room left. Today is the day and no matter how much my arms are screaming I need to keep pushing my body. I know I can do it. I've rested for a few hours and I don't plan to do the workout or stretch until this evening.

I plan to have a really healthy supper... well who am I kidding! I have been planning that for the last few days!! Tonight I am actually going to succeed though. I am making myself greek chicken souvlaki salad. It will have cucumber, red onion, peppers, avocado, feta cheese and of course the souvlaki chicken with a greek/feta and oregano dressing. I wanted to get a greek vinegrette that KRAFT is supposed to make but I guess Canada doesn't have that so next time I go cross border I will have to pick some up to try, this dressing will work though. I'm excited for it. I am actually trying to recreate the salad that Joelene and I get (well I get it in a form of a wrap when we go) from "The Chopped Leaf" restaurant here. It is so flavorful, healthy and just what I need tonight - a carb free supper!

On that note, I need to go deal with my supper stuff. Wish me luck on my remaining workouts tonight! I will blog after my first BETA exercise tomorrow, I have to admit I am nervous for this next level of the T25... it will be even more intense and I am already adding my own intensity with lane swimming (and soon running training and biking training!) ... ah well, toughen up body! Open the flood gates of exercise pain because I am not about to back down now!

T25 - Day 30!!

THIRTY DAYS OF T25 IN WHOOOOOO!!!

Today was a double day and I have only done the lower body so far, doing the total body at 1pm. I can't do them back to back anymore it is just too difficult with all the other exercise I'm putting my body through.

I am very excited though! Today was my weigh in and measurements and it has been 2 weeks since I have done them since last week was kiboshed due to my bad eating. Which I am sort of bummed that I lost that week but on the same note I am proud of myself for how much I have lost! It is insane!!

So here are my measurements lost, total for the last 5 weeks:

• Chest: 1 1/2"
• Waist: 3 3/4"
• Hips: 4 1/2"
• Thighs: 2"
• Arms: 1 1/2"

TOTAL INCHES LOST: 13 1/4
TOTAL POUNDS LOST IN 4 WEEKS: 8LBS
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST SINCE JANUARY 1ST, 2014: 13LBS!

 Proof is in the pudding! I am mighty proud of this. Of these measurements, in the last 2 WEEKS I lost: 3 1/2" off my waist, and 3 1/2 inches off my hips and 1/2 inch each side for my thighs... in TWO WEEKS! That's incredible! I am pumped. Super pumped! I love measurement and weigh in days when they are positive, it gives me such a surge of motivation and encouragement.

Like I said I still have my total body to do this afternoon, but today is my LAST DAY OF ALPHA!! I did it. I completed one cycle of the T25 program. Next up... BETA!

I am going out on a girls night tonight with a girlfriend I haven't seen in 6 months. However these results make me want to eat a salad and make wise choices tonight. It has definitely restored my temptation strength, if I push even harder I can lose more on the scale too!

Well that is my update for today, hope you all have a great weekend!

T25 - Day 28

Update time.

I wanted to check in and let everyone know that I have been doing great this week. Monday I started doing my workouts in the morning. I had a good day for eating, water is still something I need to work on. Tuesday I worked out in the morning again, but am going to have to work super hard on my water intake as we all went out to see the new Lego Movie and of course I couldn't resist popcorn and candy. I did buy a bottled water instead of pop but I was weak in the face of temptation.

I won't weigh in until Saturday or Sunday. We went out for dinner on Monday since it was family day in Alberta and I got myself a Thai Chicken Salad and shared some tomato soup with my daughter. Again I stuck with a lemon water even though my family got juices and pop for my husband. It didn't bug me actually.

Today was difficult for my exercise because I spent the entire day cleaning and on my feet, quite literally. I vacuumed, cleaned 3 bathrooms top to bottom, mopped my floors, washed and folded and put away like 3 baskets of laundry, took down outdoor Christmas stuff since the weather is now warm enough to do so, did dishes, packed away baby stuff to the basement, the list goes on and on... so naturally I was already fatigued.
This week for some reason it is a Total Body Circuit marathon... Monday, Wednesday and Friday is total body workout which I absolutely hate. Tomorrow is Cardio which will also suck but hopefully not as much since I go lane swimming that night, Friday is my double day and added on to the total body will be lower body. I am trying not to think about that. My sister in law has also asked me to go lane swimming with her on Friday but I think I am going to pass, firstly the drive down there will suck after doing a double workout that day, and second I don't think I can manage to do any laps with 50min of T25 that day. I also plan to go lane swimming on Saturday.

I know this seems like a lot but I don't want to give up my T25, I want to see it through. I don't like to quit things. Plus I need to train for the triathlon and the 5K color me rad so I need to add on even more to the exercise routine eventually; right now it is only the T25 and lane swimming (trying for 3x a week on that!), but eventually I will have to start training for the run and 10K bike in the triathlon too. So my body will just have to suck it up!

I am hoping to see some big results in my weight here soon. I still need to try and make my 8lb goal this month which might be hard due to last weeks hiccup and I did eat out on Monday and the movies Tuesday... sigh.

Anyway I am going to relax for a bit then off to shower and bed. Need to rest up for a tough couple days coming!

Good night all.

T25 - Day 25

Friday didn't work according to planned. I was fighting a horrible headache all day (likely from my over excessive girls night before and sodium over kill!) I did make an effort to workout though, as soon as I played my video the doorbell rang and I got a Valentine's day delivery.

From there the day was kiboshed, my husband came home earlier and spoiled me more by letting me nap - well I didn't wake up until 4:10pm (oops!), then it was a mad rush to get dressed and out the door because we wanted to go to Olive Garden for supper, and anyone who has been there knows it is always such a long wait (because it is the only one 300km!) well we did get there and they told us it would be a 1hr 45min wait, we opted to wait anyway as sometimes they are off and in this case they were, 40 minutes later we were seated.

I actually DID try to make good food choices when I was there, we ordered 1 drink each (the tiramisu so good!) and I only allowed myself 1 breadstick, and I filled up on garden salad. I ordered the "tour of Italy" which gives 3 three small portions of food (lasagna, fettuccine alfredo, and chicken parmaseana) because I had planned to take one portion home and make a salad for the lunch the next day. I found out later on that actually the salad from Olive Garden is horrible! It is filled with a lot of sodium. Very deceiving! One bowl of their salad has 750mg of sodium in it. They do saturate their salads with a lot of dressing and cheese and croutons though.

So when I had my leftover lasagna the next day I made a conscious effort to measure out my dressing (I did actually purchase a bottle of their dressing) and only had 1tbsp on a large bowl of salad which was more then enough. I had tea that morning with Joelene and we planned to go out lane swimming last night to train for the triathlon. We needed to do 20 lengths in 20 minutes which is the slowest time. I got myself a 1 year membership yesterday to the gym so I could go there as often as I want to train, as I will need to train for the 5K run too soon, and the 10K bike.

Let me tell you that swim last night was difficult! I had no idea how exhausting it would be to swim 20 laps. After two I was struggling and I still had 18 more to go at that point, but I did it! I still had to finish off a total body workout for the T25 that night too.
After our swimming we went to the chopped leaf and got some healthy suppers. Then home, from there I worked out right away so that the protein from my chicken wrap would count for my workout, haha... actually I'm not sure I'm supposed to do that, but it worked and I wasn't hungry afterwards.

My arms killed so badly during the workout from all those laps.

Today was a great day too, still need to power down on my water though, I'm not doing over well with that; however I do feel I am getting back on track with my eating, motivation and exercise. Last week was a bad week. A small blip in my journey is how I am choosing to look at it. Don't dwell on what you can't change, focus on what you can!

For breakfast today I had a chocolate protein shake because I didn't get up till 10AM, I really couldn't shut my brain off last night. I ended up not being able to fall asleep until 3AM or so. My baby was up A LOT nursing last night too. In short, it was not a restful night at all.

When I got home I had a greek chicken wrap, and now I need to quickly have a snack as supper will be very soon too. Really trying to squeeze in food today as best as I can. I was busy working out this afternoon, I managed to do my double workout today which means I am totally caught up for my Alpha week 4, today I did the speed 1.0 cardio and the abs, my loving husband did both right along side with me. Such an amazing supporter! I am totally ready to take on week 5 tomorrow!

They are running another biggest loser competition and I am debating joining again, I only have to weigh in every 2 weeks and they are also doing inches lost this time too. The prize money would definitely be awesome to buy all the new clothes I am going to have to buy anyway with all my training and working out I am doing. Still undecided though, I don't know if I can take anything that could discourage me right now. I have until March 2nd to decide.

I guess that's all I have to say for now! I hope I can continue to stay encouraged.